Discovering Fanfiction
by EmmaLennyEddie
Summary: When the gang gets fed up with the stories written about them on Fanfiction, they decide to post their own stories. Oh, and to tell the authors exactly how they feel. Rated T for whatever means necessary.
1. Fanboy

To All of The Fanfiction Writers,

I will admit that I am touched by the fact that you seem to all like me quite a lot, but gee, the stuff you write isn't really very appropriate is it? For one, when I was a kid, I didn't even know what half of the stuff you wrote meant. I think that was quite obvious… please don't take it so literally.

Please do not pair me with Kyle anymore. Not only am I straight, but also Kyle can be pretty mean when he wants to be. He's mentioned that he hates me about a gazillion times, (case you haven't noticed) Gosh dang it. I know hate is strong word an all, but he hates me. He's called me every bad name in the book! (Minus the cuss words) He's told me that he doesn't want anything to do with me!

I'll bet when we held hands in that whole "Excuse Me" episode, you all think," Oh my Gosh! Now I have an excuse to make Fanboy and Kyle gay for each other!" Is that correct?

The whole holding hands thing was an act of friendship! A sign of that Kyle was actually starting to appreciate me trying to be his friend! I mean, what were we supposed to do? Give each other noogies or hugs or something? That would just be corny. Plus we only held hands for like two seconds! Message: I don't LIKE KYLE! I mean I _do_ like him, but only as a friend!

Also Chum chum is a perfectly awesome-super-best friend but I only think of him as a friend. And the reason for us living together?

(Put your retarded minds to work)

Remember, I work in a goofy kid's show! There's nothing wrong about it! The reason for that I guess is because we want the audience to see that we are inseparable! That nothing can keep us apart!

There is also evidence from the series that proves I'm not homosexual! Like take Muck muck for example, I liked her, right? And there was Moppy and Lupe too! I have a bit of a crush on Francine, (don't tell her!) but there isn't any evidence that I like guys! Ha-ha! *Smirk*

Like one or two people made up characters themselves that had crushes on me, and I was pretty happy about that, I guess!

I walked up to Kyle and said, "See, people _do_ like me!" (I noticed that a lot of people like him!) Truth is, I don't really have a crush on anyone right now, and I'm ten years old for crying out loud! I'm not ready for the serious relation stuff!

Hm. It seems that a lot of you people like to 'fast-forward' through time so that my friends and I are like, in high school.

Oh and all of you guys are taking some wild guesses on what I look like without my mask. It's actually pretty funny! I'll only tell you this: some of you are wrong, and some of you are right! But I can't actually tell you what I look like because that will ruin the whole "super hero secret identity" thing. I guess the only times you'll catch me without my mask on camera is… NEVER! MWAHAHAHA! *Cough, cough* Ahem, sorry about that. I get wound up easily! But I guess you'll see my face in future episodes some time…

It's the same thing with my name! It's all, wild guesses, wild guesses, wild guesses! I remember that I said my name was Tobias or Lance in the episode "Separation Anxiety". Yeah… you guys never mention that my name Tobias is my name in your stories. But who is to say that speaking line was just a joke? I might have been making it up! (Honestly, I'm lost myself!)

A lot of people think my name is either "Lance" or "Zack" but "Lance" seems to be the number one name for me. I'm just worried that someone's going to call me the wrong name! It's Fanboy! Okay? FANBOY! Do I need to spell it out for you? F-A-N-B-O-Y! Just call me that! *Crosses arms and turns away* You people might as well just give up! I'm not going to tell you my real name, so HA!

Oh! One other thing I've noticed is that a lot of you people write stories about when I was younger… you know, my past? Well when I got the link to the story and read it, I was all like, WHAT THE HECK? It was about my parents abusing me, and being total drug addicts! It's all about parent abuse these days isn't it?

Geez, I mean I'm glad you guys are using your imagination and everything, but who are you to say what my early child hood was like? That's kind of personal. I was shocked when I read it. And I'm not telling you guys if the shock is from freaking out about you guys finding out about that, or just shocked for the fact that you guys are freaking stupid.

At least _I_ don't go around posting gay stories about my friends for every passing hobo to read!

How about you write stories about the adventures when I'm not involved in romance or horror? Such as me taking over the Internet in my secret computer base in out basement (I know that I don't actually have a secret computer base but it would be pretty cool if I did, you know what I am saying?) and the whole world bows down to Manartica to let them have the Internet back… Mwahahaha! Oh, and Marsha dies!

Yours truly,

Fanboy

(Put your retarded minds to work)


	2. Sigmund

Cherished novelists,

Vat has zee human race become? Doth zee humans no longer desire pugnacious zee other individuals? Instead, thou hath rummaged upon Internet establishes for zee stories concerning illusory exaggerated eccentrics? I expertise thou altogether to _let enchanters and warlocks massacre you. _The single article thou obligate caught precise eez not to harmonizing one alongside a Beast of Burden (the British one can at least coexist one's slave) - thou would be condemned to the seventh deposit of hell if stipulation of zat constantly transpires.

I shall promptly blasphemy thou hoodlums. Ahem!

_Sanguis bibimus, corpus edimus, tolle corpus Satani! Ave Satani! Ave Versus Christos! Ave Satani! Ave, pater! MWAHAHAHAH!_

_Ich werde euch alle töten! Sie brennen! Sie brennen in der Hölle und du stirbst!_

Some hope zee altogether scorch, in paradise, plus agonize!

From Sigmund zee Sorcerer (I detest you altogether)

Everyone stared at the almost uncomprehending note.

Kyle gave Sigmund a weird look and piched the bridge of his nose. "Sigmund… This is NOT the fourteenth century! Ugh!" He looked at his friends, who were squinting at the screen, as if that would help them understand.

Sigmund sniffed and smugly said, "Vell, excuse me eef I' ahm more proper zen a fail such as yourself."

"What… NOBODY is going to be able to understand that jibberish!" Kyle pointed out. "Besides, even if they did understand, they wouldn't give the letter a moment's thought!"

Sigmund ignored Kyle's anger and said, "Vell, I think I deed fine."

"SIGMUND!" Kyle yelled. He grabbed Sigmund's neck and thrusted his face at the computer screen, which was now two inches away. "YOU WROTE YOUR FLIPPIN' ACCENT IN YOUR LETTER!"

Sigmund flailed his arms and finally pulled away from Kyle. "Vine! I shall change eet!" He quickly deleted what he had previously written and sloppily began typing a much simpler, shorter note, muttering to himself while doing so.

Finally, he sat back is his armchair, with a smirk on his face. "There, how's zat?"

Kyle just stared.

_Deer writers,,_

_You reely,, suck. go kill yorselfeses._

_Frm Sigmund_

Kyle face-palmed. "It's great, lovely.

AN: Too complicated? I got lost there myself! Maybe I'll post another chapter for Sigmund! Ó.Ò


	3. Kyle

Dear weird stalker authors who are obviously hobos or total morons,

I have read a few stories of which included me in, and I can tell you that you all need to go see a therapist or a drug dealer. There's no doubt that somewhere out there: a funny farm has your people's names written all over it. I haven't been able to fall asleep, due to the fact that these stories keep swirling around in my brain that is my tortured noggin.

I would like to state a few facts, and for the benefit of it all, I'm letting Yo write a letter to all you authors as well.

I don't like Fanboy, not even as a friend. I thought that that fact was clear on the matter, by the fact that I have tried to kill him several times (incase you all have memory loss, remember the time when I challenged him to a wizard off and attempted to beat him to death?).

Oh, and what really had my eyes bugging out of my skull, were these stories about Sigmund and I being together! … WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS! IS IT NOT CLEAR THAT I HATE HIM? He's always trying to show me up, and if you writers think I like him then you all need a brain transplant.

What also bothers me is that _I'm_ always the girlfriend in these relationships. That is seriously disturbing. _I'm_ not the one who prances around like a total girl all day! I'm proper because I'm British! I'm from London. People here are way less substantial then people are in London.

Here's the message: I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS, YOU NINNIES!

And if it isn't a story about Fanboy and I, I'm a background character, the coward who gets killed and/or a cowardly sissy who gets beat up by the evil villain who beats up the actual main character all the time. I mean I know I'm totally the most powerful wizard in this town and anyone who disagrees *cough Sigmund cough* should have a long and horrible death, but really now.

I'm in almost every single, messed up episode of the series, and the only story lines you can think of are of a non-existent relationship between a stupid made up character wannabe and I, or that stupid imbecile? Don't get me wrong, I like having fans and everything, but gay stories seems to be the only thing that you authors write about.

Besides, I'm not weak! What about that one time where I beat up that awful tooth fairy? Does this not show my generosity? How about the fact that I have enough wizard skills to escape any situation? (If I got away with turning my professors into raspberry flan, then I can get away with anything). PS: my magic always works! It never runs out!

Let me tell you all something right now. Now, I'm not homophobic for saying this, but being gay is… not normal. Nobody is the show is gay! And what if an innocent child logged onto this website and saw all the gay stories on here? It's pathetically awful, if you ask me. The stories are completely disgusting. I don't know what sadistic pleasure you weirdos get out of writing this garbage, but you seem to be getting _something _out of it, or else you wouldn't write it. Maybe you're all lesbian (if you are girls). Or maybe you all just don't know what real entertainment is. Yeah, that must be it.

How about this: Write some real stories, not some brainless, soppy romance, meaningless, Twilight-wannabe crap. Here's an idea for you writers who have no creativity skills: a London action-packed story where I'm the powerful wizard of this town and I fight to save this town from all the horrors of Sigmund and …such.

Forget you lot, I'm finished.

From the All-Powerful,

Kyle The Conjurer


	4. Yo

Dear FanFiction writers,

I remember the time when I fell out of a tree and the wind got knocked of me. Same reaction here. First of all, I don't like Kyle or Fanboy in the smallest amount. I can assure you that I would never ever think of them as anything more than total nerdy jerks. Kyle's just waaaaaaaaay too snobby. And Fanboy is just NOT my type. *shudder* I don't know how many times need to repeat that until it actually sinks in. I DON'T LIKE THOSE GUYS!

I do like Chum chum however. But you all seem to believe he's gay for Fanboy. Which he isn't, because you should all know that he likes me! Hm… Or at least I think he does. Besides, you should know that I could get rid of any competition between Fanboy and me easily. Oh! Remember the time where I sent that nutty teacher to hell when he trapped my Chum chum in his desk? IF I CAN GET RID OF HIM EASILY I CAN GET RID OF FANBOY JUST AS EASILY!

And although I admit I can be a little stubborn, this seems to be the only trait that any of you ever focus on in your stories with me in. There was one FanFic I read where I stole Chum chum and practically strangled Fanboy when he tried to get Chum chum back? How messed up is this? For one, if I did steal Chum chum, I wouldn't strangle anybody, I would hire some unknown person who is an expert at crime.

What's more, whoever wrote that story clearly has depression issues or is a sadistic weirdo.

Besides, shouldn't the fact that I am very politically correct, intelligent and perfectly reasonable when it comes to anything (other than I and Chum chum) mean that I'm not a heartless freak?

Maybe you all hate me. Or maybe you don't hate me, maybe it's that you hate girls. I mean girls never seem to be main characters in your stories! And if there are girls, it's just a wannabe made-up character that isn't even from the show! Or a Mary-Sue, as you call it… It's always boys being gay for each other! I DECLARE SEXISM! It's either that or heterophobia… if there is such thing.

I am going to sue.

From Yo

* * *

"Haha, that should do it," Yo thought. She smiled as she sat back to admire her work.


End file.
